i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
