i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
