Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Randomize
