Swine flu. Run for my life!
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
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