No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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