A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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