You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
