you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
