glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
We're not piercing ourselves today.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
