Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
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