ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Randomize
