I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
