I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
