Buhtt sex?
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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