That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
