Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
