i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
