I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
