Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
