Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
