the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I think i got beer on your cat.
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