Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Randomize
