You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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