i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
