No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
