tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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