i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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