ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
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