You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
