so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
