My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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