This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
