Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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