in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
