wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
