we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
You're a waste of cheezeits
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
