I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Randomize
