wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Randomize
