You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
