STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
