so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
