We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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