Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
