i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
