No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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