Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
