Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
