i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
