so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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