Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
