What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Randomize
