think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
