I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
