Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
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I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
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It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
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