So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drake has all the answers
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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