im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
