He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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