Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
