Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
It's shark week go big or go home
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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