So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Randomize
