Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
