why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
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You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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