OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
how drunk are you?
Several
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
