I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
